By Patty Laushman
Despite autism and ADHD having very different diagnostic criteria, when autism and ADHD overlap in the same individual, some of the traits and behaviors associated with each condition amplify each other, while others contradict and conflict with each other. This can create very unique experiences. In part 1 of this two-part series, we looked at the overlapping traits. Where traits overlap, they can heighten the intensity of the experience for the AuDHD individual.
But imagine if one part of your brain is almost always bored, craving new things or activities, wanting to do things that get you in trouble, and struggling to concentrate (experiences associated with ADHD), but another part of your brain is always anxious about new things, resists change of any kind, and always tries to follow the rules (experiences associated with autism). Now imagine they are constantly playing a game of tug-of-war, trying to see who can dominate your decision.
These traits within AuDHDers that conflict with each other are the subject of this blog post and the reason many AuDHDers contact an AuDHD coach like those here at Thrive Autism Coaching. I will discuss how these conflicting traits can cause trouble for the AuDHDer, but I will also share the strengths that AuDHDers can develop as a result of their unique brain wiring.
So without further delay, let’s do this!
Conflicting Traits Between Autism and ADHD
While the traits that autism and ADHD have in common can work together to heighten the experience of that trait, sometimes traits of each condition work against each other and create internal conflict for AuDHDers! Below are just some of the most common examples.
Need for Novelty Versus Routine
Individuals with ADHD are often driven by a thirst for new experiences and changes in their environment. They find stimulation and engagement in variety and unpredictability. In contrast, autistic people typically gravitate toward predictability and routine. These individuals often find comfort and a sense of control in the familiarity of structured environments and consistent patterns.
This divergence can pose challenges if you embody both sets of traits. You might experience internal conflicts between a desire for new experiences and a need for the peace of mind a routine provides. Another manifestation of these conflicting traits is knowing that you thrive when you follow a routine, but your ADHD causes you to rail against the routine and be unable to follow it. You may also meticulously plan things out, but then your ADHD side makes an impulsive decision and you find yourself overwhelmed.
Hyperfocus Versus Distractibility
ADHD often involves a desire for varied stimuli and rapidly shifting focus, which can conflict with the autistic tendency toward deep, narrow interests. This can make for an interesting internal experience. Individuals with ADHD can also hyperfocus at times, and if they are also autistic, they may find themselves losing hours at a time as they dive into their interests.
The autistic side of you may find engaging in a special interest to be soothing, and you may want to hyperfocus on it, but the ADHD side of you wants the novelty of jumping between multiple interests to keep you engaged.
Social Avoidance Versus Social Impulsivity
Autistic individuals often feel overwhelmed or anxious in social situations and may avoid them to protect their sensory or emotional well-being. In contrast, individuals with ADHD are often impulsive in social settings, blurting out comments, interrupting conversations, or seeking stimulation through interaction.
For someone with both autism and ADHD, this dynamic can create confusion and distress. They may feel a strong urge to join a conversation or make a social connection but simultaneously feel anxiety or discomfort in social situations. This push-and-pull can make navigating relationships particularly challenging.
For example, the social impulsivity of ADHD paired with the autism-related difficulty in reading social situations and other people can result in things like oversharing or infodumping at inappropriate times and with inappropriate people.
Impulsivity Versus Need for Sameness
ADHD-related impulsivity often drives individuals to make quick decisions, take risks, or act on the spur of the moment without much forethought. In contrast, autistic individuals often prefer to stick to routines, plan ahead, and avoid abrupt changes.
For someone with both autism and ADHD, this conflict can be particularly challenging. They might impulsively change their plans or make a quick decision, only to feel distressed or anxious afterward because the change disrupted their need for consistency and sameness. This tension can make it difficult to feel confident in their decisions and actions.
Procrastination Versus Perfectionism
ADHD often leads to procrastination, as individuals struggle with initiating tasks, prioritizing, or staying motivated. Meanwhile, autistic individuals often have a tendency toward perfectionism, wanting to complete tasks to an exacting standard or feeling anxious about making mistakes.
When both traits are present, this can create a paralyzing cycle. The ADHD side may cause procrastination, delaying the start of a task, while the autistic perfectionism may amplify anxiety about not doing it “perfectly.” As a result, tasks may remain undone for extended periods, which can lead to frustration and self-doubt.
Strengths of Individuals with Autism and ADHD
AuDHD individuals often possess a unique set of strengths and abilities that can be highly valuable in various aspects of life. Here are some of the potential strengths that can develop in individuals with both autism and ADHD.
Deep Expertise
Many autistic individuals have an intense focus on their special interests, diving deeply into topics that bring them joy and fulfillment. When paired with the hyperfocus aspect of ADHD, this can lead to an extraordinary depth of knowledge and skill in specific areas.
This passion and expertise can translate into a strong advantage in academic, creative, or professional fields. For instance, when an AuDHD individual finds work aligned with their interests, their intense focus and dedication often make them standout contributors. Additionally, the rapid cycling of special interests that goes with ADHD can make AuDHD individuals valuable in careers where it's useful to have expertise in a variety of different subjects.
Innovative Thinking
Both autism and ADHD are associated with unique cognitive profiles that promote out-of-the-box thinking. This often leads to innovative ideas and creative problem-solving abilities. AuDHD individuals may approach challenges from angles others would never consider, offering fresh perspectives in everything from artistic endeavors to scientific research. Their ability to think differently allows them to uncover groundbreaking solutions, create novel ideas, or produce deeply original creative works.
Emotional Depth and Empathy
Despite difficulties with emotional regulation, many AuDHD individuals experience emotions intensely and possess a heightened sense of empathy. Their ability to connect deeply with others’ emotions, especially when they’ve worked through their own challenges, can make them compassionate friends, caregivers, or advocates. This emotional depth also fuels creativity, allowing them to channel their feelings into art, writing, or other expressive forms.
Resilience
Living with both autism and ADHD often requires navigating complex sensory environments, fluctuating attention spans, and challenging social dynamics. Over time, many AuDHD individuals develop remarkable resilience, learning to adapt to an ever-changing world in creative and resourceful ways. This resilience often manifests in their ability to recover from setbacks, find innovative coping strategies, and approach life’s challenges with determination and creativity.
Final Thoughts About When Autism and ADHD Overlap
Living with both autism and ADHD creates a unique and complex experience, where common traits can be amplified and conflicting traits may create challenges, but overcoming these challenges can also lead to incredible strengths. If you would like to explore working with an AuDHD coach who can help you turn your challenges into strengths, you can schedule a complimentary consultation to explore this here.
Hopefully, this blog post has shed light on your own experience with AuDHD or helped you better understand someone you care about. Understanding these experiences is crucial not only to provide better support so these amazing humans can bring their gifts to the world, but also to celebrate their strengths, creativity, and resilience. By recognizing the strengths that emerge alongside the challenges, we can foster greater empathy and appreciation for those navigating life with these intertwined conditions.