By guest writer Becky Moody
Imagine you're sharing your thoughts on a topic you love with someone, explaining every detail with enthusiasm and passion. You feel a rush of excitement as you dive deep into the specifics, eager to convey just how much this subject means to you.
Your words come quickly, and you notice the listener's reaction might not match your excitement, but you continue because it's something you genuinely care about, and you’re enjoying the sharing too much to stop. This is what it might feel like when you are “info dumping” (otherwise spelled infodumping) as an autistic or ADHD adult.
In the first part of this two-part series, I will discuss the phenomenon of info dumping and why it’s a perfectly normal part of our experience and how we communicate. I will also provide tips for autistic and ADHD individuals on how to identify safe people and places for info dumping.
What is Autistic or ADHD Info Dumping?
Info dumping (or infodumping) is a special mode of communication for autistic individuals. It involves an autistic person talking excessively and in detail about a topic they love. For many autistic people, sharing facts and information feels like a linear and logical way to communicate. Info dumping is often referred to as an “autistic love language.”
As an individual with both autism and ADHD (AuDHD), I feel this is an accurate label. After all, what better way to bond with someone we love than by sharing something we love with them? This staple of autistic communication is not just limited to autistic people who can speak. Those who use augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) or rely on signs and communication cards can also engage in info dumping using their preferred methods of communication.
Besides being a hallmark of autistic and ADHD communication, info dumping can serve plenty of other purposes. For some autistic people, it can be a form of self-regulation. This makes sense when considering that our nervous systems are interest-based. Talking about something that makes me happy definitely helps keep me calm if I’m escalating to the point of a meltdown because it gives me something more pleasant to focus on.
This style of communication can also be a source of pride for a lot of autistic people. Info dumping about something I’m passionate about certainly gives me a self-esteem boost because I know a lot about a particular topic and I’m sharing that knowledge with others.
My Personal Example of Info Dumping
Let me take you on a journey back to the spring of 2005.
I’m 12 years old, and the fourth season of American Idol is in full swing. I spend all day in school counting down the hours until I can go home and sing along with Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice before racing to the portable phone in the basement to vote for my favorite contestants.
I also successfully drive my classmates crazy by explicitly stating the fact that American Idol is the thing I’m looking forward to all day long. I also manage to drive them crazy with the random facts I learned about the contestants on the official American Idol website.
Add to that my endless gushing over my plans to audition for American Idol the instant I turned 16.
For a long time, American Idol was all I could ever talk about, to the point where my friends expressed their annoyance with me, and my parents became deeply concerned. My dad even had to coach me on how not to overpower the conversation with random facts about American Idol before bringing me to social events!
My rapid-fire passionate babbling about facts like a walking Wikipedia page didn’t end with American Idol. All my life, I’ve talked my head off to whomever will listen about whichever thing has my rapt attention at the moment!
When I was ten, it was Yu-Gi-Oh. For a time in high school, it was Sting and the Police. Two years ago, my special interest du jour was learning about famous plane crashes in the history of commercial aviation.
Many years later, I learned that my tendency to excitedly share lots of detailed information about subjects I’m passionate about actually has a name: info dumping.
Tips for Leveraging Info Dumping
As an AuDHD individual, I want to acknowledge how important info dumping is for autistic folks as a method of communication and the role it plays in helping us bond with others. Autistic people exist in a society where there is a very real chance that someone we care about may tell us that our interests and the things we love are frivolous. Or they may make fun of us for our “obsessions.”
Connecting with others entails a willingness to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable by itself requires a certain degree of bravery, and I want to hold space for the fact that info dumping can be a vulnerable thing for some autistic people to do.
For autistic individuals, info dumping can feel vulnerable because we risk being rejected by someone we respect. Other people may either become bored by us sharing our interests or make us feel as though we are annoying them. Therefore, it’s important for autistic folks to find people and spaces where sharing the things we love is welcome.
Find Safe Spaces and People
One thing that helped me feel more confident about sharing my passions with others was finding community. I sought out spaces where other people most likely also shared my interests and therefore info dumping would be more likely to be welcomed.
Over the years, I found this community through online message boards and conventions. These days, there are a wealth of websites, clubs, meetups, Facebook groups, and conferences for just about every interest out there. In those spaces, you can meet all kinds of people who also love talking about the same topics you enjoy.
Check In With Your Conversation Partner
Recognizing body language is not something that comes easily for a lot of autistic people, me included. It has taken me years of trial and error to recognize when people avert their gaze away from me or shift uncomfortably as their attention wanes.
Therefore, if I’m not sure how someone is feeling during a conversation I’m having with them, especially if it’s a conversation where I notice I’m doing all the talking (particularly about something that excites me), I’ll ask the other person outright if I am boring them.
For me, this is easier to do if my conversation partner is someone I know well and can trust to be authentic with me in a way that won’t hurt my feelings (like my husband, a family member, or a close friend).
I may occasionally ask my conversation partner if I am boring them or if they are okay with me talking about whichever subject I happen to be rambling on about at the time. This way, I give my conversation partner the choice to continue engaging with me or change the subject.
Since non-autistic conversation is a lot like passing a baton back and forth to one another, I try to remember that my conversation partner also has a certain degree of control over where the conversation goes.
Try Other Ways of Info Dumping
If your main method of info dumping is by speaking with someone else, you might like to explore other methods of info dumping. Try writing or journaling about your special interest. You can also try recording a video.
If you’re feeling brave, post your video or your journal entry to an online space dedicated to your special interest. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the next big Internet influencer for your special interest!
Making art related to your special interest (drawing, painting, making music, etc.) is also lots of fun, and can be another way to share your special interest with others around you.
Conclusion
Info dumping is a normal, healthy part of how autistic people communicate with each other and the people we love. It’s important for us to express ourselves freely and to find people and spaces where our special interests are celebrated. As autistic people, we can do our part to make sure we share our interests in ways that are nourishing for our spirits.
If you’re still not sure where to go to find safe spaces for info dumping, reach out to Thrive Autism Coaching. You can schedule a complimentary consultation from here to explore whether coaching can help you improve your communication and relationships with other people and help you identify strategies that will work best for you.
Stay tuned for Part 2, in which I will share ideas for how people can foster a supportive environment for their autistic loved ones to info dump.
About the Author
Becky Moody, best known by her stage name Alaizabel Cray, is a neurodivergent actress, dancer, and writer residing in Denver, Colorado with her husband and two cats. Her work and social media pages can be found at https://linktr.ee/alaizabelcray.